Archive for July, 2011

Momonomista’s War

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

…  against Big Box Stores with Bad Mission Statements

Dontcha hate it when Target sells something that is labeled with the wrong size, or maybe previously returned as broken (but they put it right back there on their shiny shelf), or even worse, sold as the result of an associate putting a size S garment on a size L hangar?

This has happened to me too many times. I’ve probably spent over $250 on crap that was just plain wrong.

So today I tried to return a sweater that was too small (improperly hung on the wrong size hangar) and a dress that was mislabeled as a LARGE but when I got it home I could not even get it on. Either direction.

I guess I was pretty overconfident because I wasn’t even nervous about returning these items. I’m not a good returner.

Sweater was OK and my Visa card was nicely credited.

Dress: Not so much. The barely-legal store “manager” wouldn’t even give me a nominal store credit.

So sue me, there was no tag or receipt because I was so overly confident that the thing would fit over my bathing suit that I tore off the tags and threw them away. And nowadays Big Brother can always figure out where you bought something because all HE needs is the credit card that you bought it with. And the brand of the dress is only sold by Target.

(It only took me 3 more days to try it on because I got interrupted by one of the kids and then I decided to go on Facebook or Quickbooks or something).

Nope. Not even a $5 store credit.

So I tried my best to counsel said very young store “manager” that I was really, really, really going to take my business to the Wal-Mart Supercenter. PERMANENTLY.


I left, mad as a wet hen, shouting “Viva La Wal-Mart”. If you don’t believe me check the store security cameras.

So hereby and herewith, I dedicate this page to a one year tally of receipts for crap that we DIDN’T BUY AT TARGET. I plan on sending them an monthly accounting (in an Excel Workbook, of course, complete with pivot table), of crap we *COULD* have bought at Target but instead ordered on Amazon Prime or bought at Wal-Mart.

Sayonara, suckahs! (FYI, Don, this is a family boycott of Target, so pretty please do not grace their doorstep for 365 calendar days).

(I realize I’m giving Target publicity that barely registers as a speck on a clover but I just so need to do this because it really seems their current Mission statement is “Punish our Customers”).


One day a 3 year-old wouldn’t try mustard

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

It’s all about branding, sort of.

As my then SAHD spouse was attempting to get #1 son to eat something with mustard on it, he had a brilliant idea.

“If I call it ‘Double Mustard, he thought, “I might just have executed that which was previously impossible”.

Nope. The 3-year-old still refused.

At this point I’m a little fuzzy on what happened next but from what I recall there was some chasing around the kitchen and dining room.

Then, without any further ado, he ate some mustard. And liked it.

Now 7, whenever he won’t eat a new fude, we call the entire experience the Five Stages of Chasing Double Mustard (thank you, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)* Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.


*What stands out most prominently in my memory was that I had just lost my mom to ALS and was cycling through those stages, trying to eke out what little bit of humor I could to deal with a Most Tragic Thing. Four years later I may have finally dealt.